An Ensign article by Sister Holland made me feel better about Mothers' Day

Few women are quite comfortable with Mothers' Day.  The holiday brings out the motherhood-insecurities in all of us.  Personally, my phobia is that I won't make it into Heaven because I don't enjoy  the traditional feminine homemaker-y activities that I imagine are loved by women who are, therefore, better mothers than I.  Deep down, I worry that upon looking at my life review, St. Peter will shake his head and say, "You didn't bake casseroles or scrapbook?  You never sewed your girls' prom dresses or canned  your produce?  I'm sorry, Sister Abbott, but you can't come in."  An irrational insecurity, probably, but there you go.

Patrica Holland, in 1987, wrote an article for the Ensign that makes me feel a little bit better.  "For three-fourths of my life," she wrote,

I felt threatened to the core because I hated to sew. Now, I can sew; if it is absolutely necessary, I will sew—but I hate it. Can you imagine my burden over the last twenty-five or thirty years, “faking it” in Relief Society sessions and trying to smile when six little girls walk into church all pinafored and laced and ribboned and petticoated—in identical, hand-sewn dresses, all trooping ahead of their mother, who has a similar outfit? I don’t necessarily consider my attitude virtuous, lovely, of good report or praiseworthy, but I’m honest in my antipathy toward sewing (Holland, Patricia. "One thing needful:  Becoming women of greater faith in Christ." Ensign October 1987).

Elder and Sister Holland in Buenos Aires, Argentina, December 2013
Photo courtesy South America South Area,
via lds.org/church/news

Now it's my turn to be honest.  At first, reading this article made me feel better because somebody else had an insecurity like mine, and this somebody else had been a first counselor in the General Young Women's Presidency and was the wife of an Apostle, no less. Upon reflection, however, I think my favorite bit of the article is something Sister Holland wrote toward the beginning, before she admitted that she hates to sew.

Sister Holland wrote about visiting the Holy Land just after her release from the General YW Presidency.  She'd felt overwhelmed by all the responsibilities of motherhood, of church leadership, and of being First Lady of BYU.  The release eased some of her responsibilities, but replaced them with feelings of loneliness and loss of identity.  Exhausted, she sat overlooking the Sea of Galilee, read from the New Testament, and hoped for comfort.  She wrote of the healing she received that day:

The Sea of Galilee
Photo taken by Zachi Evenor
via Wikimedia Commons

Our loving Father in Heaven seemed to be whispering to me, “You don’t have to worry over so many things. The one thing that is needful—the only thing that is truly needful—is to keep your eyes toward the sun—my Son [sic].” Suddenly I had true peace. I knew that my life had always been in his hands—from the very beginning! The sea [of Galilee] lying peacefully before my eyes had been tempest-tossed and dangerous—many, many times. All I needed to do was to renew my faith, and get a firm grasp on his hand—and together we could walk on the water (ibid.)

The most difficult Relief Society lesson I taught was one on motherhood.  My ward Relief Society consisted of all types of mothers:  mothers with husbands and mothers without; mothers of many children, few children, and no children; mothers of biological children, of adopted children, and of stepchildren; mothers of rebellious children and mothers of obedient children.  How, I worried, could I present a lesson on motherhood without hurting the feelings of some of these sisters—my friends—in my Relief Society?

I found the solution to my dilemma when I realized that I needed to talk about the Atonement.  Different women have different insecurities and challenges, but all women have them, and Christ gives us the ability to overcome them all.

Sister Holland's Ensign article reminded me of what I had learned from my Relief Society lesson.   Basically, the Atonement isn't just for the religion part of my life.  It is for all of my life, motherhood included.  It is not possible for me to be the perfect mother—whatever that is.  However, God can take my efforts and, through the grace of Christ, make them enough.